You’re on the air, Reverend.

Thank you for taking my call, JayJay Bone.

What’s on your mind, Pastor?

Ho-mo-sex-u-allllls!

What’d they do now?

They brought us the plague. They brought us the pestilence. They brought us the germs of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The AIDS?

Coronavirus.

COVID-19 is gay?

The end days are on us with all the passion of a Village People reunion.

The rapture?

Liberals inflicted a rupture on our nation.

For the rapture.

Praise the Lord.

So how do the gays fit into this pandemic?

They dropped a bomb on us.

With the AIDS?

And all them initials like LGBMW and such.

The only initials we patriots should care about are USA.

And the only numbers we play in the heavenly lottery are 4 and 5.

Four more years for our 45th president!

And four more after that!

The media’s calling you a merciless public menace.

Hoax.

The press says you’re a wicked con man.

Witch hunt.

Television news say your Godstock prayer meeting scheduled for Easter Sunday might kill your whole flock of however many faithful you can round up and put out to pasture.

Fake news.

So Godstock’s a go?

Got to get back to the garden, JayJay Bone.

Eden?

Democrat snakes keep out.

A soul sacrifice if I ever saw one.

Hallelujah.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Godstock’s still on for Easter. Nobody’s gonna quarantine Jesus. JC will be out of that tomb and hopping down the bunny trail before you can say Trump Tower. We’ll be right back after this message for Dopioid, a soothing cream to rub on your aching Christian temples when you feel just too dumb to think.