Go ahead, caller. All the phone lines are lit. I’m JayJay Bone and you’re on the air.

Did you say the phone lies are lit? Lies? You got that right you, little Nazi, you. That’s all you Trumpsters living in dumpsters do. You lie. You believe your lies and then lie some more. And….

Get off my phone you pansy snowflake, you. We’re at war to eradicate germs like you to make America great again. Line two. Go ahead, Capt. Jones. You’re calling from the prison?

All hell’s breaking loose here. The inmates are rioting. They’re setting fires and threatening to take more hostages. We’re putting our lives on the line.

Our hearts and prayers go out to that corrections officer who sacrificed himself in the line of duty, JayJay Bone said.

The guard began to yell.

Sgt. Miller was a hero. And what kind of thanks do we get? Hundreds of rampaging minority coronavirus carriers infecting us with bugs they brought in from the ghetto. Uh-oh, gotta go. The natives are getting restless.

Line three. Talk to me, Ashley.

Will my breasts stop growing if I stop eating meat?

Yes.

Caller on line four. William. Go ahead.

I pulled the trigger on my first target today.

Not you, again.

I’d watch my back if I were you.

You think you scare me? I ain’t afraid of no plague. Jesus is the cure. Line five, Vic

Thanks for taking my call, JayJay. I’m recently single and reaching out to some of the sweet young things who listen to your show. They must be getting pretty lonely during this lock-down. I’m on the Zoom regular now and want to offer some live private party time online with these lonely hearts. The ladies might dig dancing with a real man on live video.

Macho macho man. You want to be a macho man.

Ha ha, that’s me JayJay.

Leave your contact information with my call screener, Vic. Who wouldn’t want to play matchmaker for a couple of lonely pandemic love bugs?

Line five, go ahead.

Praise the Lord, JayJay.

Welcome back to the show, Reverend.

I’m here with Wynne the Pizza King, Godstock’s main sponsor who will be providing free pizza for Saturday’s Set-US-free rally. We want to invite all your listeners to the biggest protest against mass house arrest of God-fearing patriots in the history of the nation.

Now JayJay Bone started yelling.

Spread the news, Pizza King.

You ready to join us in the biggest government jailbreak in the history of the planet, JayJay?

USAUSAUSA, Wynne.

I’m not talking jailbreak like those dirty convicts rioting at the prison, either. We’re righteous angels of the original American Revolution that rebelled against tyranny. You know what George Washington’s favorite food was, don’t you?

Pizza?

With clams he fished right out of the Potomac, JayJay. I read in on the Internet.

What can we expect at the protest, Wynne?

To feed the multitudes at lunch we’re unveiling the world’s largest pizza shaped like an AR-15 assault rifle complete with armor-piercing bullet-shaped pepperonis.

I understand your son’s sharing an ICU hospital room with COVID-19.

That’s why we’re offering ten percent off our artisan mask-shaped tiramisu to all nurses who stop by one of our pizzerias for take-out after their shift.

Paying it forward, JayJay Bone said.

That’s what makes me proud to be an American, Wynne said.

JayJay Bone sniffled back a tear.

Where at least I know I’m free, he said.

One more thing, Wynne said.

Speak, JayJay Bone said. Freedom’s pulse pounds through your veins.

Wynne cleared his throat to ask his question.

Was that my daughter Ashley who called the show earlier asking about her breasts?