Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to day number whatever of this unconstitutional lockdown of the American economy. I’m JayJay Bone and you’re on the air.
Listeners hear Bone draw deeply on a Parliament filter cigarette and blow smoke at the mic.
Thank you for taking my call, JayJay. This is Bethany, the Mrs. Pizza King.
And to what do we owe the honor of Wynne the Pizza King’s wife’s calling the show?
I am pleased to announce myself as the founding mother of the national Set-US-Free movement ladies’ axillary.
We’ll get to that in a moment, Bethany but first I want to extend my sincerest condolences to you on the loss of your teenage son, Palmer, a great golfer and All-American boy who I’m told was just awarded a posthumous scholarship to Trump University when it gets back up and running. I’m sorry I won’t be able to give his eulogy at the pre-rally wake. We’re postponing the Godstock protest from Saturday until a later date to accommodate armed patriotic contingents from all over the country that want to participate. They’re multiplying like loaves and fishes.
We have fish stick casserole for dinner every Sunday, JayJay.
Now what’s this about you leading our female charge for freedom?
I’m organizing girls nationwide to burn their masks to counter what I call the feminutzies who burned their bras back in the 60s when peace and free love infected people all over our land in a real pandemic.
Of Biblical proportions, JayJay said.
That’s why we’re burning our masks, Bethany said.
You ladies will be wearing brassieres, I assume.
Absolutely, JayJay, all the girls will be properly attired.
Good old-fashioned American independence does not mean girls going topless, JayJay said.
Heaven forbid, JayJay, our femininity is at stake as it is.
Yes, my dear, good citizens everywhere recognize the difference between liberty and lactose like those nude hippie breast-feeders. Pushing mother’s milk at our unvaccinated babies is making them intolerant. It’s time we the people stop pumping up the nanny state.
I couldn’t agree more, Bethany said. If it’s good enough for the Gerber baby it’s good enough for us. Truly liberated women properly package our boobies for our men. Bras are beautiful, JayJay.
Hallelujah to that, Bethany.
“Bundle Your Bosom,” is a battle cry we must make as recognizable as “It’s the economy, stupid.”
Will you girls march to the rally when it’s rescheduled?
We’ll be walking two abreast.
JayJay took another long drag on his cigarette.
Democracy or bust, he said.
We’ll be fundraising for an ample war chest, Bethany said.
I expect your beautiful teenage daughter, Ashley, to stand with you on the podium.
Actually, no, JayJay.
Is there a problem?
Ashley ran away this morning.