Ashley pigged out on corn chips from a family-sized bag and smoked a joint at the same time.

Abiding by the speed limit, their far-out VW van moved slowly through Iowa farmland and headed north. With their inaugural mission to liberate pigs accomplished, instead of heading east to Illinois, America’s second-largest pork producing state, they traveled in the direction of the nation’s third largest supplier. Ashley persuaded Sterling to postpone their plans to hit another factory farm and put their snouts on the line for another crucial cause.

Minnesota here we come, Sterling said.

I’m a little nervous, Ashley said.

The news says the riots have calmed down in Minneapolis.

Will we be official I-can’t-breathe protesters?

Looters, maybe, Sterling said.

Ashley tried to put together the pieces in her head.

What would you loot, Sterling?

A bakery?

Eclairs would be great, Sterling, but let’s get serious. We’re protesting animal abuse, promoting plant-based diets and trying to save the planet, she said. We’re fighting the same system that killed George Floyd, so we’re no-justice-no-peace protestors, too.

We’re lawbreakers, Sterling said.

Lawmakers and law enforcement officials break the laws they make and are supposed to enforce all the time, Ashley said.

She wore a funeral suit expression on her face.

Why do they call cops pigs, anyway?

Sterling reached for the reefer and took a big hit.

Because they’re animals?

So why not call them jackasses?

Good point, Ash.

Pigs are people, too, man.

Pig power, he said.

Pigs are smart, lovable and loyal. How many cops can you say the same thing about? 

My grandfather had a donkey, Sterling said. He said they’re affectionate, intelligent, keep weeds to a minimum and protect small livestock from predators with a good kick in the direction of the threat.

That’s just what I mean, Ashley said. Our battle cry is free the pigs. Everybody gets that. But how do we show solidarity with oppressed peoples of America by yelling off the pigs and fuck the pigs without disrespecting our pig brothers and sisters?

C’mon, Ashley, I’m stoned. That’s too heavy to ask me this early in the morning.

My mom called me a pig once because I didn’t clean my room, Ashley said.

Like a slob?

Ashley looked up the word pig on her phone.

The British say it’s somebody who’s greedy or bad-mannered.

Sounds like cops to me, Sterling said.

But to call cops pigs mocks real pigs, Ashley said. Friends don’t let friends bully pigs.

Yeah, like, they can’t help it if they have to belly up to the trough.

Don’t you fat shame them, Sterling.

I’m sorry, he said.

Ashley finished her corn chips and crumpled the bag.

After the protests end and the riots are over and young people win, I want us to get naked and slop with the hogs, she said.

Like roll around in the mud with them and shit?

Awesome, Ashley said.

Power to the porkers, Sterling said.