First the camouflage face mask.

Then getting tased in the supermarket.

Now, the new Confederate flag boxer shorts in the sock drawer.

What’s this, Vic?

Aw, where’d you get them, Gina? I wanted to surprise you.

You put them in your sock drawer rather than in your underwear drawer.

I’m under a lot of pressure, Gina.

Tell me about it.

I bought the shorts to wear to the rally.

What rally?

The Set-US-Free rally at the pizza parlor. My underwear ought to be good for a laugh when I drop my drawers to moon the lock-down. Rally organizers on the local TV news said they’re expecting about a hundred protestors

The governor says to stay at home that only essential businesses are allowed to open.

That’s the whole point, Gina. Take-out pizza is essential but people need to congregate without masks and get drunk together. Stand up for our rights as free American citizens. That’s as essential as it gets. The rebel stars and bars represent rebellion.

Listen to Robert E. Lee.

Real funny, Gina.

You sound like a right-wing crackpot, Vic.

If we let the government tell us what to do we’ll give up who we are.

Who are we, Vic?

We the people, Gina.

Who put this stupid idea in your head, Vic?

I was talking to the Amazon driver when he delivered my new underwear the other day and we figure it’s going to get bad. We’re going to start a neighborhood watch, carrying deer rifles and safeguarding liberty.

You don’t hunt, Vic.

Maybe it’s time to start like Robert De Niro in that movie I fell asleep watching on the cable yesterday afternoon.

Who’s behind this rally?

That guy who owns the big pizza chain, Wynne something-or-other. I seen him on TV saying he’s flying Old Glory in the face of oppression to liberate small business from the death grip of the deep state. He’s calling all sovereign citizens willing to fight to take back our country from lock-down.

Wynne something-or-other is just using you dumb asses to sell pizza and beer.

Don’t tread on me, Gina.

That’s original, Vic.

I only regret that I have but one wife to lose for my country.

Is that a threat, Vic?