Go ahead, Jimmy, you’re on the air.

Blue lives matter.

You’re a police officer?

Yes, sir.

Are you seeing a breakdown of the social order, officer, less respect for law enforcement during our C-19 hysteria?

Yes, I am.

Have you personally experienced this disrespect?

Hell yeah.

Tell us about it.

Old white bag woman in the supermarket wearing a cross around her neck made out of gum wrappers asked me where the toilet paper was like I was a clerk.

Were you in uniform?

Of course.

How old was this good Christian woman?

About 90.

You ever hear of the Golden Rule, officer.

She called me boy.

What exactly did she say?

Be a good boy now and reach up for the Charmin.

Are you colored, Jimmy? Is that why you took offence.

Am I WHAT?

People of color, right, that’s the politically correct term nowadays, right?

Why you white honkey-assed…

JayJay Bone hit the flashing red button and dumped the call.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is no time for angry black men trying to take over my phone when we all should be pulling together. We must stand united. I will not stand for black militants threatening to burn down the station. Vic on line two, you’re on the air.

I was there, JayJay, in the supermarket buying coffee filters yesterday when that alleged cop started cursing that poor old God-fearing white woman. He’s in there like the Black Panthers and I wind up getting tazed and doing the electric slide on my face in the 10-items or less aisle.

Who tazed you during the supermarket riot, Vic?

You’ll have to talk to my attorney.

This is breaking news ladies and gentlemen, an eyewitness report from the front lines about the urban terrorist assault on our food supplies that media’s doing its best to cover up. Expect more communist attacks. Prepare for more media cover-ups as this curse climbs to fever pitch. Brace yourself for increased violence. Get ready for runs on toilet paper.

Betsy calling on line three.

That Taser Devil who attacked Vic is Capt. Lester Jones who works at the prison. He tried to infect me with the bug. The whole damn prison population is at risk with him running around rubbing himself up against who knows how many inmates and staff. Then they fired me from my prison counseling job for whistleblowing Capt. Jones.

You blew Capt Jones’ whistle?

I’d do it again, too, if my personal sacrifice could save just one life.

Thank you for your servicing our brave men in uniform. This show has been brought to you by puerility, the societal sanitizer that prevents intellect from forming in the most contaminated brain.

I’m JayJay Bone.

Good night.