Goddamn, Vic, where’d you get the rifles?
Gina’s sister, Betsy, had ‘em in the basement from her first husband who ran off to Las Vegas with that dental assistant. I traded a boxed set of Lynyrd Skynyrd CDs for the guns.
The one with Southern Man and Saturday Night Special?
Free Bird, too!
Don’t know who got the better deal, Vic, her or us.
You ever hunt deer?
No way, Buck said.
Remember what happened to Bambi’s mother in that movie they showed us in elementary school?
I’m tearing up just thinking about it, man.
You ever shoot a rifle?
I watched some YouTube videos.
Guns scare me.
So what do we do?
We practice.
Drinking beer and driving an hour into the country, they opened up the back of the used plumbing and heating van Buck bought cheap and pulled out the guns.
I’ll be Robert De Niro, Vic said.
C’mon, Vic, I wanna be Robert De Niro.
Who got us the deer rifles?
So who am I gonna be?
You can be De Niro the next time.
You talking to me?
How’d you get a day off today?
I quit driving for Amazon, Buck said.
That was the best job you ever had.
It’s great if you like slave labor, want to get the COVID and die.
I thought we don’t believe in the virus.
Inforwars says it’s a Chinese bioweapon we got to fight back against by standing up to the Commie germ warfare.
Fighting back against our government for trying to protect us at the same time, too, Vic said.
Don’t forget them libtard doctors and nurses on TV blocking the protesters’ cars in the liberation rallies.
Yeah, who died and made them boss?
You wanna shoot first?
Vic opened fire after they nailed the paper target to a tree. The bulls-eye portrayed the heart of a a black marauder brandishing a pistol. The rifle cracks echoed so loudly the skin-and-bones horse grazing in the nearby pasture seemed to jump a foot off the ground. When the poor nag tried to run, Vic and Buck watched her whinny, keel over from fright and stretch out dead on the grass.
We’ll get blamed for sure, Vic said.
Let’s get the carcass in the van, Buck said.
After wrestling for 20 minutes with the bag-of-bones mare, Vic and Buck packed up their guns and ammo and high-tailed it out of the woods.
As the sun set, three horses’ asses headed back to town.