Now what, Kemosabe?

William scratched his head.

What’s Kemosabe mean?

Darryl shook his head.

It means idiot in Apache although white people always thought it meant friend or trusty scout.

So all along Tonto was calling the Lone Ranger an idiot?

Lovingly, but yeah, he was.

Did Tonto dislike the Lone Ranger?

No, but if they ever got surrounded and the Indians were going to move in for the kill and the Lone Ranger said looks like they got us you know what Tonto would have said?

What would Tonto have said?

What do you mean us, white man?

William didn’t laugh.

C’mon, brother, where’s your sense of humor?

Why are you calling me brother if you think I’m an idiot?

I didn’t say that, Tonto said that.

Whose side are you on, anyway?

We’re on the same side.

Which is?

The side of justice.

What’s our next move, Darryl?

I already screwed up by hugging that possessed little devil at the motel. Just got carried away. So much for social distancing. He could be infected.

Yeah, and us pushing our way through a slobbering snarling crowd of unmasked neo-Nazi fascists didn’t help decrease the spread of coronavirus droplets, either. They all looked like carriers.

I don’t want to be a COVID-19 zombie, William. We’ll quarantine for 14 days and get tested to make sure we didn’t catch the virus or spread it if we did.

What about the guy who got run over by the beer truck?

Not our problem, Darryl said.

How about the guy we saved?

I don’t even know who he was, Darryl said.

Strange bird, William said.

At that, Dillon flew through the open apartment widow and perched on the sill.

About time you got home, Rambo.

Startled, Darryl backed up fast.

What the hell is that?

Your mama, Dillon said.

Watch your mouth, Tweety, Darryl said.

Turn out the light, the bird said.

What’s he talking about?

Beats me, William said.

Does he mean the streetlight?

Dillon cocked his head and appeared to smile.

Good thinking, Kemosabe, he said.