How you been, Big Bob?

Flummoxed, Big Bob’s pet Irish Setter ran in circles and peed a little in the foyer leading to the front door.

Down, Clancy, down, boy.

Buck, the Amazon Prime delivery driver, reached for the pooch.

Gimme a kiss, he said.

Doggie slobber ran down Buck’s lips all the way to his chin as he kneeled to meet and greet the mutt.

Big Bob scratched his big beer belly.

You going to the Set-US-Free rally? The Reverend changed the date from Easter Sunday so he had more time to promote the protest.

Me and Vic can’t wait. We’re getting deer rifles to carry. Want to ride in the pick-up with us?

Can I bring Betsy?

Who’s Betsy?

Used to work at the prison. Now she does private emotional counseling and works at the animal shelter. We both love animals. I met her at the dog park, Big Bob said.

Is she on board with the rebellion?

Ready to rise. Her husband took the kids to live with his mother after that rumor about her having the corona virus spread all over the internet. She’s quarantining with me and Clancy. Calls herself a stay-at-home mom without rug rats. Says it’s like a vacation.

You mean that rumor about her affair with Capt. Jones at the prison?

Yeah, but that’s over. She’s suing him for trying to give her the bug.

Now Clancy jumped in his owner’s face, licking and splashing spit in his mouth.

So Betsy’s your girl?

I still got it, man.

I see you still got the U-Haul truck, too. Still running illegal booze up from Maryland and selling it out of your garage?

I’m making so much under-the-table cash since the governor shut down the state liquor stores I’m thinking about changing my name to Jack Daniels.

Buck set down the big box of Chewy doggie treats that provided Clancy with better meals than Big Bob who, if truth be told, sometimes shared a biscuit with his pooch. The SmartSticks peanut butter chews were his favorite. Big Bob liked them better than Smoky Mountain smokeless snuff pouches.

Both men anxiously looked forward to the Set-US-Free rally, especially Buck, who once he started talking couldn’t shut up about the meaning of faith and freedom.

Wynne the Pizza King teaming up with the Reverend’s Godstock gang ought to draw thousands of people. They were great this morning on the radio with JayJay Bone.  The Reverend said Jesus ate pizza right after the apostles rolled away the rock and sprung him from the tomb. He said it was some kind of flat bread with oil and seeds on it but basically Middle Eastern pizza. The communion wafers are like little Jesus pizzas. Since we’re all in this together we might as well have one big pious pizza party. The Reverend says Wynne the Pizza King makes pies just like the one Jesus ate. The protest is the perfect showdown for God against the government. You wouldn’t catch Jesus wearing a mask like the Lone Ranger.

Praise the Lord, said Big Bob.

And pass the pepperoni.

If America don’t open back up again soon we’ll be like China.

How so?

No MMA, no NBA, no NFL, NHL or MLB, Big Bob said.

Can you imagine America without NASCAR?

No American Idol. No Bachelor. No strip clubs.

You bringing Clancy to the rally?

With a new stars and stripes bandana tied around his neck. He’s a patriot, too. Clancy doesn’t have any of his shots. I refused to get ’em.

You getting the Chinese Virus vaccine if they come up with one?

No way. We’ll have to buy it from Beijing R Us. The Chinks will manufacture it full of biological warfare germs. What? You think I’m stupid?